I haven’t written in a while because I could cry of the boredom I feel when I think of simply writing about my studying abroad experience in Spain as a diary about the food, the friends, the places. Simply writing about my external experiences would be to sit and write about the excitement of the wrapping paper without ever describing the gift within. My experiences here are swallowed up as I delve into what is beneath their physical state. The beauty I see, the people I meet, the places I go, the food I eat, are simply the physical manifestations of the inward journey of my soul. They are the doorways to a different type of destination.
I’ve always been one to live in my head no matter where I am. You could take me to any continent and my eyes would still wander from what’s in front of me and focus on the clouds, the moon and stars, the trees. Long ago this birthed an eternal inner dialogue between God and me, and in this place where I forget I am more than just spirit, I’m met with thoughts of the paradoxes of the universe, of time, of death, of resurrection. Eternity. Thus the external opens a door to for my mind to wander and there I find countless lessons on life, love, joy, forgiveness, gratitude, compassion.
My journey here in Spain is viewed through this lens–that of my spiritual growth and inner reflections. These are the things that truly inspire me but I never felt were the “right” thing to write about, and because I couldn’t muster up the energy to write about things I thought readers would enjoy I simply stopped writing.
But I must write, even if solely for the purpose of being able to read this years from now–but if I am to write, I must write about other things. I must write about the things that truly move and inspire me.Why turn away from my own flame which I’ve been tending to, to labor uninterestedly in building a bonfire for others? I must tend to my passion, the rest, the things I think I ought to do for others’ approval will simply have to wait–maybe till another lifetime.